You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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