I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
