Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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