porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
