People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
