3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
