So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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