I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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