Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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