so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
