I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
