Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
