I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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