her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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