she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
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I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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