I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
