Will you blow on my dice?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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