Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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