Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
