wakey wakey hands off snakey
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
