Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Randomize
