Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
