I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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