I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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