Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize