This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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