Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
