ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Sorry my hands just texted you
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize
