why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
