she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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