If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
