i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
