I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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