I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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