mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
