You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
