Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
