Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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