wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize