The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
