I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize