It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
