i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
