We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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