I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
