He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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