I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
God, I missed his penis.
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