Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
