My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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