Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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