Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
