I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize