Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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