My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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