he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize