I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
