It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm just crazy horny about you
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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