I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
