I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
