My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
