Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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