I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
