plz talk dirty to me
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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