if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
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Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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