hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
