He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
