we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
