I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
