Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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